Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Holy Grail

Shopping for jeans is Hell. We all know this. You spend the entire day trying on every single pair of jeans in the entire mall, and you come home feeling tired, depressed, unsatisfied. Not a single pair looks as good on as the pair that you are actually wearing, which are threadbare, and have a hole in the crotch, and they don't make them anymore, or they changed the design and added SPANDEX. I swear there is not a pair of jeans in all 31 stores that does not have spandex, and if it does exist in the back of the women's department next to the granny panties, and the reason that it is there is because the waist of the jeans goes up to your nipples.
This being said, my primary shopping mode is thrifting, and while thrifting I have found many pairs of jeans, that I like and wear, a lot even... But! I have never found that perfect, that beautiful, that Holy Grail of favorite jeans.

The only place, that have ever found the perfect pair of jeans, is I get a little quiver of relief just thinking about it. Buckle has roughly 1,000 separate styles of jeans for women alone. This may seem daunting. However, someone invented the most wonderful search engine and each category narrows your search, bringing you closer to possible perfection. Simply by choosing "non stretch" the choices jump from roughly 1,000, to exactly 131. I kid you not. Hit a button, and the jeans all flip over and show off their rear ends. That's right, so you can rule out all of the pants with those stupid flaps over the back pockets that will never again lie that flat, but will instead, curl up all over the place, and completely ruin your line.

My last pair of favorite jeans, succumbed last Thursday to a fatal hole, from which there is no return. Today, my new pair of favorite jeans arrived in the mail.

Unfortunately, I failed to realize that the 20 inch leg opening meant flare jeans, and I hate flare jeans. I have no one to blame but myself. Back they go, this time, remember to choose the 18" leg opening.

If this post seems shallow to you, slip into your favorite pair of jeans, or better yet, toss them out, and then you tell me.


amy said...

Oh and I are quite like minded.
Funny because just this moment as I was stepping from the bath, on my mind was......"I really need to find a new pair of jeans".....
Must have caught your vibes through the open window, even if it was yesterday :)

Lynda said...

Hey! there is nothing wrong with my panties thank you very much!
lol, I know what you mean. Hope you get the perfect pair this time round.

Diana Jo said...

Oh Katie girl, I do understand the jean dilema but alas I do like the SPANDEX because it keeps me, in my 50 plus year old body, from having to buy jeans that come up to my nipples. Gone are the days when I could buy a pair of brand new 501s (embarrassing as they were in their new state) and wear them out until no tomorrow. I mean if you got a hole you patched with some scrap fabric and kept on a wear'in. Those were the cool jeans.
Currently my favorite pair of jeans has lost the top brass button and I am wearing them saftey pinned together at the top! Did I mention how old I am? Is that tacky or what? Plus it makes peeing a real chore. Bought Melonie a pair last week at the mall. It only took 2 hours and $100.00.